Invisible Gifts

It’s not an oxymoron: an Uneducated Gifted Kid.

Steven

That smart kid is more kid than smart.

Texas vs. Minnesota

Texas will always be my heart’s home. But my body lives in Minneapolis.

Sisyphus

Drowning was elegant—everything was the same except now you’re dead.

Mr. Huey

Mr. Huey was not cool, not even a little bit.

Ill Humor and Medication

When a dysthymic person has a bout of major depression, it's called double depression. I don’t have any single depression to compare it to.

"Why don't you drink?"

I cannot stop eating gas station food, despite it being, you know, gas station food.

Wren

I would wake up looking a total mess, something like Encino Man, unable to find my clothes, languid and gawking at her.

Top Ten Student Insults Overheard

Didn't include this because she isn't my student, but my daughter's first Yo Momma Joke was "Yo Momma look like a tardigrade."