Ten Absurd Questions I Can Imagine My Very Educated Wife Enthusiastically Asking My Dog

1. Henry, are you nice? Or no? 

2. Henry, do you need to go potty? Is that why you lick your wang? Lick not thine wang, Henry.

3. Henry, do you have a sagittal crest? Is it vestigial? Could you fuck something the fuck up with your HenryMouth? Or no?

4. Henry, don't be too proud to use the GUI. You're a real coder even if you don't work from the command line.

5. Henry, did you eat the small intestine of a rabbit and then barf up something resembling shit? Did you “sharf,” Henry? Did you? You did, didn’t you. Sharf not, Henry Dog. 

6. Henry, does it bother you that Shroedinger used a cat? You could be a symbol of possibility, too. Good boy symbolize all outcomes at once. 

7. Henry. do you have a C level position? Are you the CHO? Chief Henn-ing Officer? Do you have a window office?

8. Henry, if there were a lot of you, would you demonstrate stigmergy like a swarm of ants only cute? Would you be a swarm of cuteness? Good boy be cute. 

9. HenrySpoons. Come spoons. Good boy, HenrySpoons. 

10. Henry, on my deathbed, will I be telling myself I am so glad that I helped consult with GlobalMega Corp. and made their hulking business a few more dollars? Or no?